Master the Art of Bad Vibes with Wilbur Kookmeyer
In this classic two-page spread, Bob Penuelas uses Wilbur Kookmeyer to satirize the aggressive “me-first” attitude that often plagues popular surf breaks. Wilbur provides a masterclass in rude behavior, from psyching up with heavy metal to “snaking” waves from unsuspecting longboarders and stuffing fellow surfers with a well-timed wetsuit hood pull. While the comic is a hilarious “how-to” on being the most hated person in the water, it ultimately serves as a cautionary tale. By highlighting these toxic imbalances, Penuelas reminds us that a happy lineup only exists when we leave the “bad vibes” on the beach.
## The Anti-Wilbur Guide: A Surfer’s Lineup Etiquette Checklist
While Wilbur Kookmeyer is busy “snaking” longboarders and “stuffing” dudes in the lineup, a real surfer knows that respect is the ultimate currency. Demonstrate ethical surf behavior, use this checklist to ensure you’re contributing to the stoke, not the “bad vibes”.
### 1. Respect the Right of Way (Priority)
- The Closest to the Peak: The surfer closest to the breaking part of the wave (the peak) has the right of way.
- Don’t Drop In: If someone is already on the wave, do not take off in front of them. This is the “impossible” move Wilbur tries to pull off with disastrous results.
### 2. The “No-Snake” Policy
- Don’t Paddle Around: “Snaking” is when a surfer paddles around another to get closer to the peak after the other surfer has already established position.
- Wait Your Turn: In a crowded lineup, there is a natural rotation. Pushing to the front of the pack like a “Surf Zombie” is the fastest way to ruin the vibe.
### 3. Paddle Wide
- Stay Out of the Impact Zone: When paddling back out, stay wide of the breaking waves.
- Don’t Be a Moving Target: Avoid paddling through the middle of the “crowded conditions” where others are trying to ride.
### 4. Communicate with the Pack
- Call Your Direction: If a wave is “splitting” (breaking both ways), a simple “Going left!” or “Going right!” prevents collisions.
- Apologize for Mistakes: If you accidentally “pearl” or “face plant” into someone else’s line, a quick apology goes a long way in keeping the lineup happy.
### 5. Don’t be a “Mental Case”
- Check Your Ego at the Shore: Wilbur thinks psyching up with heavy metal makes him “gnarly,” but true skill is shown through calm and controlled surfing.
- Help Out Others: If you see someone “getting pitched” or caught in the “inside the tube foamball,” check to make sure they are okay.
